Your Best Life Starts with...
Surrender
March
I broke
3-hour cry fest
Emotional
Inconsolable
Praying
Feel nothing change
Hurt
Confused
Unsteady
Knowing God is in control
Yet, what’s this?
An ax to my sail
Hole in my boat
One that I have spent years crafting
Assuring my safety
Now sinking
I struggle
Must keep it afloat
God is in control.
I know.
Then...
Let go.
Have you ever felt this way?
I could not explain how I got there because what triggered it did not merit the intensity of the pain I felt that day. Yet, it exposed areas within me that needed to be removed and changed. It also challenged the promise God had revealed to me years ago and that shook me. I felt it threatened the fulfillment of the promise I have been holding on to for so long, a promise that God had placed on my heart and reminded me of time and time again. Here I was riding on the winds and waves of the promises of God when suddenly, I got a shotgun to the bottom of my sailboat and I was sinking quickly.
This pain was so raw and piercing. It overwhelmed me with such severity that I cried out to God to take the pain from me, to take away the promise.
Now, I knew the fulfillment of the promise would bring me immeasurable joy. Yet, waiting for the promise to be realized, with the threats to it and the sacrificial pain it was causing me, made me want to give it up. I asked God, “Why is this happening? Why am I so emotional and in so much pain?” This was the first time I had ever cried for that extended amount of time. I was confused. I was like, “What is going on?! This is NOT like me. I don’t cry like this!” And sadly, I uttered these words through my sobs, “God take it from me. Please, I’m in pain. Take it all away. Every reminder. I don’t want it. It hurts.”
But God...
Seconds after those words left my tear-filled lips, God answered in His grace and mercy and as a compassionate Father, knowing what’s best. He gently brought my thoughts to when Jesus uttered similar words,
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me…”
And then what followed...
“...yet not my will, but yours be done.”
***
Right before Jesus would be betrayed and crucified, He was in unbearable pain. The NIV Bible version uses the word anguish, and this was such that He sweat drops of blood and an angel was sent to strengthen Him. He knew what was to come, not only physically but more direly, spiritually. And because He was human, He asked Father God to “take this cup from me”, but right after...Jesus says, “yet not my will, but Yours be done.”
He surrendered His will and rightful place as King and Son of God to be humiliated, die a sinner’s death, be sacrificed, be tortured and carry the weight of every sin that had ever been and that ever would be committed.
And for what? Why submit to such dreadful, anguishing pain unto death?
Jesus knew that by Him dying and battling Death, He would fulfill the promise of saving us by conquering Death and giving eternal life to all who believe in Him.
Jesus submitted to the will of God’s unconditional love and grace-filled way for us to make it to live with Him in Glory. And even though He knew it would hurt for an excruciating moment, He knew the eternal freedom and joy it would bring, so He obeyed.
Jesus surrendered His will and obeyed the call
***
Well, there I was crumbled by the side of my bed leaning my head on the edge and weeping. I felt defeated, alone and inconsolable.
But I was not alone, not left uncomforted, and certainly was not defeated.
God saw me, heard me, and He answered. He showed me how Jesus surrendered to God’s perfect will despite His blood-dripping pain. And my pain could not begin to compare with His.
So, I did the same. I accepted to hold on to the promise. I surrendered my will that day.
That was the first step out of my deteriorating sailboat. See, what I failed to understand was that God’s best for me was no longer in the sailboat but aboard a brand new pristine ship. There I would enjoy life and grow further along this Life-giving path He has chosen for me. There I would be able to help more people through the gifts and God’s design in me, and if they came aboard, we wouldn’t sink, we’d be having ocean traveling adventures!
I’m learning we are not intended to stay in the same boat while we set sail with God. He brings us from glory to glory. Better to best. He makes all things new at each stage of our lives. And one day, He will call me out of the new ship and onto an All Star cruise ship.
But He assured me that He could not and would not give me that ship until
1. I was well-prepared to handle that size of a ship
2. The weights of my iniquities were off
3. I knew what tools to use to battle the storms that would surely come
But what tools?
How do I prepare myself?
This happened on a Friday. After I surrendered my will, I was still deeply wounded and I asked my parents to pray over me. That strengthened me, as the angel strengthened Jesus on the Mount of Olives. Yet, the heaviness of the pain was not completely lifted until Sunday.
On Sunday, the third day, God began to reveal the tools and what I needed to do to prepare for boarding this new ship. By the end of the week, God made it clear that there were 3 areas in my life that I needed to focus on. I can definitely be hard-headed at times and may miss seeing the answer right in front of me. God help me. But God knows that, and He made it so there was no doubt. I am forever grateful He teaches to each of our learning styles. ;-).
Surrender EVERY DAY
I surrender to God daily saying, “not my will but Yours be done. I surrender my thoughts, my eyes, words, body, and…”. I have been seeking Him with joy and intention and He has revealed Himself in new ways and directed my steps. I’m loving the process. Weeelll… the getting to know Him and His ways part-the knowledge, understanding, and clarity. But it’s true, “those He loves He disciplines.” So, God must love me a whole lot ‘cause I’ve been getting rebuked by Him a lot too. LOL. Things like...He told me to apologize to someone even when I was right! And naturally when I was wrong. That’s the painful part, but I am filled with immediate peace after I do it. You know God means it when He says it’s not about you. But that’s okay ‘cause He also says He gotch yo’ back! ;-D
When you humble yourself and surrender to God’s will, He will start to reveal Himself, speak to you and show you what to do.
I pray that today you will surrender to God’s will, so He can give you a life completely filled with all you will ever need and more, full of all the best. Then, you can freely and joyfully give.
Allow Him to amaze you
Next step...
Obey
Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?"
“My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline,
but don’t be crushed by it either.
It’s the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects.”
Hebrews 12:6 (MSG)
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me…”
“yet not my will, but yours be done.”
Luke 22:42 (NIV)
"...so also one righteous act resulted in justification and life for all people. For just as through the disobedience of the one man (Adam) the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man (Jesus) the many will be made righteous.
...But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. "
(excerpts from Romans 5:18-21 NIV + commentary)
***
New Again
Now
Filled with this deep sense of joy
To know God more
To humbly surrender to Him daily
Knowing He leads me on the good and right path
To live this life in abundance
Giving freely to all in need
To live with love, joy, wisdom,
sound judgment, knowledge, understanding,
hope, faith, and a heart of a servant.
Rewarded with an eternal life
walking down paths of living waters
My heart swells.
Jesus, my first love
Again and again and again
Long time coming
This
Delight Yourself in the Lord.
To know you more
Beauty is all I see
New beginnings
You hold the best.
Surrender
Seek
Obey
Yes!
Every day.
